STAKEOUT LOG. Subject: The Pemberton residence. Purpose: to establish who has been opening the biscuit tin at night. Observer: Chief Inspector W. Noir. Assistant: Constable Fig, who is asleep.
Day one
8:00 PM. Arrived at the observation post, a windowsill with a good view of the kitchen. Settled in. Pulled the curtain across my left side to avoid being seen. The curtain was not helpful, as the curtain is see through.
9:30 PM. A light goes on. A man enters, makes a tea, and leaves. No biscuits.
11:15 PM. A moth arrives at the window. It is small, grey and agitated. I regard it with professional caution.
Day two
1:00 AM. The moth is still here. I suspect it is working for someone.
3:00 AM. A sound from the kitchen. I leap to attention. It is the fridge. I go back to my watch, slightly embarrassed.
4:40 AM. The man returns, barefoot. He opens the biscuit tin. He takes one. He eats it in the dark. He looks at the window, and for a moment our eyes meet.
5:00 AM. I reflect that the man is the culprit, and that I have known it all along.
Observations
- The man is the biscuit thief
- The man believes no one is watching
- The man is wrong
- The moth has not left
Day three
7:00 AM. Constable Fig wakes up and asks what he missed. I say, “Everything.” He nods and goes back to sleep.
10:00 AM. I note that the moth has moved to the lampshade. It is thinking something.
Day four to day forty
Nothing of note. The moth has become a colleague. I have named him Dennis.
A stakeout is not about what you see. It is about what you decide not to chase.
Conclusion
The case of the biscuit tin is solved. I filed a report with the household and received a plate of ham. Dennis has been given a letter of reference.
This log is fictional. No moths were harmed, and several were consulted.